A short art-house film about two individuals who, during a rare eclipse, find their way back to their axis through the dissolution of their love, acceptance of a tragedy, and the freedom that an apology can give.
THE TEAM
Photos by: Andi Atherton, Caroline Sicard, Omara González
Written/Directed/Filmed/Edited/Sound design: Paolo A. Santos
Actors: Ruth Robles, Roseli Arias, Alan Ramirez
Make-up artist: Fernanda Alcalde
Choreography and performance: Alan Ramirez and Roseli Arias
Song “Aún” performed and produced by: Ruth Robles
Executive producers: Paolo A. Santos, Ruth Robles & Roseli Arias
Sometimes, trying to clear my mind causes more obstruction that denies me escape.
Backstory: For many years, I struggled with an immense sense of sadness every time I woke up. This nagged me, as its origin was a mystery.
When I lived in Nevada, I watched sunsets almost daily over Las Vegas. The light struck buildings just at the right angle, which made them gleam and gave the mountain ridges on the horizon a glow that made me go into deep introspection.
It was then that I realized I was afflicted with a serious case of cognitive dissonance that threw my psyche out of whack.
In my preteen years in the Philippines, I went to a private school where I was bullied terribly. My soft nature made me a target, and my love of nature made my mind wander during classes, which my teachers ensured that I was punished for. All because I found more value in daydreaming and drawing animals. I also felt low most of the time, as I was labeled weak and slow.
The inescapable feeling for what I have done.
I understood that forgiveness and acceptance of the past were the correct course of action, yet my need for some measure of justice made it difficult for me to reconcile with peace. I became a gym rat, I sparred ferociously, I fought in the streets with vengeance . . . I became a bully.
This was the sadness, but I knew I had to change, and art was my way out.
In Montreal, I worked with a dancer on this project in its early inception, however, I was offered a job in Cambodia that I couldn’t pass on. At the time, I thought the project was dead in the water so I chucked it into the proverbial waste basket.
Years later, I met two amazing women, Ruth Robles and Roseli Arias—they are artists at Vidanta Resort’s resident show, JOYA, by Cirque du Soleil—and all of a sudden, the project, like having a soul of its own, demanded that I fish it out of the trash.
The sadness and madness in me, I see in you and I have grown to hate you for it
“When I was young, there were times when I felt invincible. Now, most of the time, I feel invisible”
I an not sharing my heart with someone else, its immensity is more than enough to love many times over without the need to only give parts of it, but rather, its entirety . . . one heart for me, for you, for somebody else..
The film will be in Spanish, as I want to show respect to my host country of Mexico, and Spanish is Ruth’s and Roseli’s mother tongue. I did not want them to play characters; I appreciate and respect them for who they are, so that is what I wanted to see on screen—they be who they truly are—but just in a fictional story.
The choreography was created and performed by Roseli and Alan Ramirez (another artist in the JOYA show) and the song will be written, performed, and produced by Ruth.
BTS shot of Alan Ramirez. Photo: Fernanda Alcalde
The sudden realization that I am no longer here.
The confusing part is, I do know what to say, yet saying it will call the devil back.
To wrap this up, here is a section of the text:
“There is something about the impact of an offence that changes the heart; it breaks it, it hardens it, it misleads it.
The harsh truth is that none of us will go through life without being hurt, and sometimes we play the villain in someone's life and hurt them.
Some say that a broken heart can never truly be mended and that the jagged lines of the fracture will always remain. I chose to believe that the power of a sincere apology is greater if we accept it truthfully, free of rancour and foolish pride, and that if we love hard enough, it can restore the heart and set us free.”
© 2024 Paolo A. Santos. All Rights Reserved.